


Hotline Bling

by leere



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:57:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6618748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leere/pseuds/leere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dude, " Pete says as soon as Patrick picks up. "I'd suck Kanye's dick."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hotline Bling

**Author's Note:**

> My internal dialogue that lead to this being born: _i need 2 write & post smth. this is ridiculous. but everything i write is terrible. i should just like. write phone sex or smth. i need 2 write smth goddamnit. ugh okay._ Point is, it's late and this took two hours and I usually spend two weeks writing a fic and a week editing it so this is probably shit. Regardless, hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading. This takes place in '05 or '06, btw, if that wasn't clear.

"Dude, five words," Pete says as soon as Patrick picks up - after five rings, because Patrick is currently very busy on Garageband, thank you very much. "I'd suck Kanye's dick."

"That's four," Patrick says absently, squinting at his laptop screen. He's got a bunch of random tabs open from various browsing he's done today - a recipe, perezhilton.com, Prince tour dates, a couple YouTube videos, and a puppy rescue site because he really wanted a dog, goddamnit - and they're bothering him, so he goes through them and closes everything except the puppies. 

"Yeah, I know," Pete says, "I was so busy thinking about how hot sucking Kanye off would be that I forgot the fifth word. Dude, you know what? If I sucked him off, maybe he'd actually work with us. You think he's that kinda guy? The kinda guy who puts out on the first date, then agrees to produce your record? I know that's the kind of guy _you_ are, heh." 

Patrick doesn't answer, because Pete's being weird and Patrick never knows what to say when Pete's hyper and random like this, he just silently 'awww's at a golden retriever on his screen.

"So what are you up to, Stumpster?"

"Looking at puppies that are up for adoption. I want one, Pete."

"We have Hemmy."

"That's your dog, you know I can't stand him. He eats my shoes. I like my shoes a lot, I'm very fond of them, and I don't need your damn dog tearing them up."

"If you didn't leave them laying around everywhere, he wouldn't be able to eat them," Pete counters.

Patrick rolls his eyes. "Whatever. What are you doing?"

"My hand is in my pants," Pete says seriously.

Patrick blinks at his screen. He takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes. "Pete, how long has your hand been in your pants? If you tell me you've had it in there this entire conversation, I'm hanging up. I put up with a lot from you, but if you had a hand on your dick while we were talking about puppies, that's - that's passed the bar, that's passed anything I can take, man."

"Oh, unclench, I just stuck it in there." There's silence for a moment. Then: "My dick's out. You should get yours out."

"If this is how you initiate phone sex, I don't know how you've ever gotten laid."

"If sex depended exclusively on how well we talked, you and I would both be virgins, Rick. You know that. The ladies all love me for my hot body. Not just the ladies, though, huh? You too, obviously."

Patrick's not really in the mood, but he doesn't have anything better to do, and besides, he's really missed Pete. They haven't seen each other in two weeks, and it's been three since the last time they fucked. He pushes his laptop off of himself and lifts his hips to awkwardly get his pants down to his knees. 

"Is your dick out yet?" Pete asks.

Patrick exhales loudly through his nose. "Yes, Pete, my dick is out now."

"Yay," Pete says. "Okay, so, like, I miss your mouth. A ton. I was just thinking about it, and I really want it on my dick right now."

I can do this, Patrick tells himself. He curls his hand loosely around his half hard cock. "Oh yeah?" he says, and his voice comes out so unintentionally gravelly and gruff that he almost laughs. He pitches his voice back up to normal, because yeah, no, and continues, "You want me to put my mouth on you?"

He can vividly imagine Pete vehemently nodding. "Want you to do that one thing you do, with the tongue, I want that. Want you to use that golden throat of yours for something even better than singing."

"Now you just sound creepy," Patrick says, squeezing his hand around the base of his dick and closing his eyes so he can paint the picture of how Pete looks in his mind. He can imagine him sprawled out on his bed, Star Wars bed sheets rucked up around him, hand shoved into his plaid pajama pants. "I'm just gonna casually make this horrible, awkward phone sex even more horrible and awkward; what are you wearing?"

"I'm fucking naked, baby. Got the house all to myself today, so my dick's been out for hours. It feels really liberating to walk around your house with your dick out and not have your mom bitch about it or your dad insult the size of your peen."

"I like the size of your peen," Patrick offers, grinning to himself. He's not really jerking off, he's barely even hard, but this is lighthearted and fun and he's enjoying himself. 

"I know you do." Suddenly Pete's tone changes, getting a little darker. "You like the size of it when it's in your ass, don't you? I haven't fucked you in, what, three weeks? I bet you're starving for my dick, huh?"

Patrick barks out a laugh. "Don't ever ask me if I'm starving for your dick again."

"You know what I fucking mean," Pete says, defensive, and Patrick laughs harder. "Stop fucking laughing at me. This is the worst phone sex I've ever had. Are you even hard? I'm not, you fucking suck at dirty talk."

"I'm not trying," Patrick says.

"Well, try." 

"Okay," Patrick says. He takes his hand off his dick and folds his arm behind his head, staring up at the ceiling and keeping the phone pressed to his ear with his other hand. "Let's go back to the me-sucking-you-off thing, because honestly, I miss that. I could go for that right now. If I was there with you, I'd be on my knees for you. I'd, um." Patrick closes his eyes and wills himself not to stumble over what he's about to say. His cheeks burn with embarrassment but he really, really wants to hear Pete get off because of his words. "I'd have you up against the wall, and I'd be on my knees and I'd have my mouth on you, and I'd pin your hips against the wall so you couldn't fuck my mouth. And I'd suck you for an hour, until your knees were ready to give out and you were doing that, that weird whiney thing you do when you're about to come. But I'd tease you, and when I finally let you come-"

"Would you swallow?" Pete's voice is gruff, and Patrick thinks he can hear the sound of Pete's slick hand moving quickly over his dick on the other end. "You would, right? You'd be a good boy for me?"

"Maybe," Patrick says, hoping the smirk he's wearing is audible in his voice. Pete inhales sharply on the other end, so Patrick's guessing it is. "Or maybe I'd be feeling like changing shit up. Maybe I'd turn you around and fuck you against the wall."

"Fuck you," Pete says through gritted teeth, and Patrick imagines his dark, lithe body twisting in his stupid sheets and slides his hand down to wrap around his cock again. 

"You could," Patrick says, and Pete groans. "You could," he says again. "You could be here fucking me right now. I'd let you do me on my back, you know I hate it like that but I'd let you. I haven't been fucked in weeks, I miss it, Pete - miss you."

"Miss my dick," Pete mutters on the other line, and Patrick twists his fingers over the head of his cock and bites his lip. "If you miss me fucking you so much, why don't you just buy a vibrator?"

The thought makes something burn hot in Patrick's stomach and he groans, bucking his hips up into his hand. "Maybe I will. And I'll call you up while I'm using it, so you can hear me having a good time without you. So you can regret being away from me even more."

Pete grunts and if Patrick wasn't so busy trying to get himself off, he'd listen more carefully to the sound of Pete coming, because it's a truly amazing sound. As it is, he barely registers him panting and saying, "You fight dirty, you little fucker."

Patrick laughs breathlessly, pumping his hand faster. He's close, can feel it building in his stomach, about to surge up his his spine, and words are getting hard to force out. 

"If I was there, I'd totally be rimming you. I'm craving it, dude, I miss the taste of your ass." It's kind of gross, but Patrick's too caught up to care, he just imagines the wet warmth of Pete's tongue and suddenly he needs it desperately, wants Pete to bury his face in his ass and lick him out until he's crying more than anything. He drops his phone while Pete's still blabbing in his ear and barely manages to shove two fingers into his mouth and somewhat wet them before he's reaching down to press them to his hole, and he's not even able to push them in, but the feeling's enough and he's crying out and flooding his hand anyway. 

He lays silent for a moment, panting hard, before he forces himself to sit up and reach for a tissue from the night stand. He grabs his phone and pushes it to his ear again. "Pete?"

"I thought you hung up, asshole. I made you come, now you gotta sing me to sleep. Fair trade, don't you try to cheat me, Rick."

"I'm literally about to pass out."

"Sing me Purple Rain," Pete says, "or I will never suck your dick again. Ever. Seriously."

Patrick doesn't even make it to the first chorus; he's asleep by "laughing in the purple rain." Pete listens to him breathe for a while and tries not to think about how much he misses him before he manages to fall asleep himself.

**Author's Note:**

> RIP to Prince, btw <3 wanted to kind of pay homage. maybe honoring him in Peterick porn wasn't the best way to do it, but eh lol


End file.
